Can you feel the love tonight?

Sorry about the heading, I’m just trying to catch some passing Elton John traffic, he’s not well you know? Where were we? Cross Country Murder Song continues apace, we’ve signed off on the artwork, the proof (well, very nearly), the blurb for the press release and my author photo. I’ve finally met my publicist (Clara, she admitted that after she’d read the manuscript she was wary about meeting me, but after a pastry and coffee and getting her in a chokehold we were fine. I’m kidding, there was no pastry, hence the chokehold) and found, to my delight, that the book has a marketing budget now too. This is not always the case. You might even see me in some sort of display in Waterstones, most of you might have already seen me being wrestled out of Waterstones by security after defacing Dan Brown books. But I’m getting ahead of myself.

The publication date – sorry if I did this before – is February 25th 2010. I’m getting bound proof copies in a week or so and the finished thing early January. For a man who regards the world with a baleful eye even I think these are exciting times. The day before I met my delightful publicist (she might read this and is still debating whether to charge me over my breakfast time attack so I’m trying to keep her sweet) I attended a dinner with the great and the good of Waterstones and Random House. Myself and three other authors, plus publicity, sales and marketing people as far as the eye could see made up the two tables. I talked Bukowski with one, RS Thomas with another (my tattoo caught their eye, though not literally) and they said effusive and wonderful things that made me blush and drink wine like it was the last bottle in London. I almost believed I might write a second book. There might be more Waterstones news soon, there might not, let’s go for a drink if things go my way this weekend. Back at Random House the next morning, Tom (Editorial Assistant – eyelashes like Bambi) asked me to come up with an online campaign for the book. If the Books and Beyond department like it then we might rouse a little more cash from the Cape coffers and I might have to write some more material ¬†about the driver – the book’s protagonist.

In other news I visited Berlin and dressed as though I were heading to Tampa, the icy rain made me pay. Attended the NFL game at Wembley Stadium and secured a radio interview with a Toronto station to air when the book’s published there next March. I also did another stint on the sofa at GMTV. They sat me next to a Michael Jackson impersonator, he moonwalked for me in the green room as some ugly failures for the X Factor looked on aghast. I can’t recall their names, but they all had legs bigger than my head and I have quite the noggin. In other news, Jupitus started in Hairspray last night, no news yet, but I couldn’t be more proud of that boy especially as he gets to wear a fake ass and shake it. Never mind novels, that’s showbiz. Next time then…Author!

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